The importance of finding an answer to this question has increased due to the current circumstances in my life. I have been fortunate enough to meet a number of new people due to current job conditions and my social scene. Here’s what I came up with:

Cultivating compassionate thought is the missing ingredient
When we are fully compassionate we let go of our own concerns and fears, allowing ourselves to more deeply experience life in the shoes of the other person (the truest way to practice the golden rule). This has a much greater impact on our mind than does passive listening/conversing. In turn, the memories become more vivid and have staying power.

On the practical side, there are many books on techniques that can be used to accomplish this:
Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends & Influence People” is one of my favorites. A summary of the book is available if you’re too busy to be bothered, although I recommend reading the entire thing.

The purpose for writing about this has been two fold:
1) It serves as a helpful reminder, a sort-of journal, and way to turn these recent insights into more concrete examples by putting them in writing.
&
2) Perhaps it will test my assumption, provide me with feedback and lead to a better understanding.

I hope to follow up on this article by discussing more ways to:
“Be More Compassionate.”

UPDATE [02.05.2007]
Fresh evidence: Loneliness link with Alzheimer’s | BBC News

“We need to be aware that loneliness doesn’t just have an emotional impact but a physical impact,” said Professor Robert Wilson.

Where memory is maintained, Compassionate relationships have trumped Loneliness. Where it fails, there’s some work to do. My experience tells me that this correlation exists, this article tells me that it’s probably a safe bet.

Don’t wish for an absence of enemies, only for the compassion that compels them to be friends.

I like.

“Great things can happen when you ask the right questions.”
- Charlie Rose

In the realm of “questioning,” few stand out. It is an elusive skill for most of us, but one we can always improve upon. Successful (and rare) examples can be found in marketing campaigns, TV interviews and political races.

Question Your Questions
Have you recently noticed any number of painfully irrelevant and/or rambling answers to your questions? If you aswered yes, this may be a clue that you could benefit from some brushing up on these skills. But do not despair, hope is not lost. Here’s one model of excellence that you can learn from and may even enjoy:

Charlie Rose
The Charlie Rose Show – available on most PBS stations – makes for an excellent example of effective questioning. Some of the most interesting people in the world have sat at Charlie’s table. Pay special attention to the adjectives and inflection he uses; it tends to evoke some pretty interesting responses from his guests (similar to yesterday’s Lifehacker article). That said…

Albeit, asking the Dalai Lama (a great episode) what his greatest hope is for the future, may be just a bit more interesting than posting a forum question about fixing your blender (but I suppose brilliance is in the eye of the beholder anyway).

As of today, everyone can access FREE re-runs of the Charlie Rose Show on Google Video – it’s usually $1 per show. I was able to find almost every episode I could think of going back many years!

Inspired by: Lifehacker