The importance of finding an answer to this question has increased due to the current circumstances in my life. I have been fortunate enough to meet a number of new people due to current job conditions and my social scene. Here’s what I came up with:

Cultivating compassionate thought is the missing ingredient
When we are fully compassionate we let go of our own concerns and fears, allowing ourselves to more deeply experience life in the shoes of the other person (the truest way to practice the golden rule). This has a much greater impact on our mind than does passive listening/conversing. In turn, the memories become more vivid and have staying power.

On the practical side, there are many books on techniques that can be used to accomplish this:
Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends & Influence People” is one of my favorites. A summary of the book is available if you’re too busy to be bothered, although I recommend reading the entire thing.

The purpose for writing about this has been two fold:
1) It serves as a helpful reminder, a sort-of journal, and way to turn these recent insights into more concrete examples by putting them in writing.
&
2) Perhaps it will test my assumption, provide me with feedback and lead to a better understanding.

I hope to follow up on this article by discussing more ways to:
“Be More Compassionate.”

UPDATE [02.05.2007]
Fresh evidence: Loneliness link with Alzheimer’s | BBC News

“We need to be aware that loneliness doesn’t just have an emotional impact but a physical impact,” said Professor Robert Wilson.

Where memory is maintained, Compassionate relationships have trumped Loneliness. Where it fails, there’s some work to do. My experience tells me that this correlation exists, this article tells me that it’s probably a safe bet.

Don’t wish for an absence of enemies, only for the compassion that compels them to be friends.

“Great things can happen when you ask the right questions.”
- Charlie Rose

In the realm of “questioning,” few stand out. It is an elusive skill for most of us, but one we can always improve upon. Successful (and rare) examples can be found in marketing campaigns, TV interviews and political races.

Question Your Questions
Have you recently noticed any number of painfully irrelevant and/or rambling answers to your questions? If you aswered yes, this may be a clue that you could benefit from some brushing up on these skills. But do not despair, hope is not lost. Here’s one model of excellence that you can learn from and may even enjoy:

Charlie Rose
The Charlie Rose Show – available on most PBS stations – makes for an excellent example of effective questioning. Some of the most interesting people in the world have sat at Charlie’s table. Pay special attention to the adjectives and inflection he uses; it tends to evoke some pretty interesting responses from his guests (similar to yesterday’s Lifehacker article). That said…

Albeit, asking the Dalai Lama (a great episode) what his greatest hope is for the future, may be just a bit more interesting than posting a forum question about fixing your blender (but I suppose brilliance is in the eye of the beholder anyway).

As of today, everyone can access FREE re-runs of the Charlie Rose Show on Google Video – it’s usually $1 per show. I was able to find almost every episode I could think of going back many years!

Inspired by: Lifehacker

His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama gave a speech to the students at UC Irvine on Ethical Self-Awareness & Personal Transformation on May 3rd of 2004. Beginning with traditional Tibetan Music, the Dalai Lama then gives his presentation only to be followed by a forgettable performance from Sharon Stone (she’s comes across as a bit much, but I’m sure she means well). Anyway, we can all use a little more of this in our lives:

[gv data="http://www.joelneuenhaus.com/JFN-Media%20Files/HisHolinessTheXIVDal.flv" width="400" height="326"][/gv]

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall, always.”

Evidence:
The claims and statements made by their agents become more and more extreme and obtuse as the results of failed policies come to light.

Essentially, I believe the following to be the case:

1) People, by nature, prefer to get along with one another. Take, for instance, the reality one is faced with when the brevity of life stares you in the face. An acceptance of our mortality always draws people closer together. We saw this after 9/11 and many of you have seen it in your own families. Unfortunately, this can not always be the case… Consider these circumstances; when another threatens your sense of immediate safety or security – whether it may be an individual or a country – or when we allow daily distractions to cloud our window of perception, these truths can easily be lost in the shuffle…often times, for practical reasons.

2) None-the-less, an effort to achieve peacefull; synergistic relations with others deserves a sustained ; persistent focus.

3) When asked, most people will support the notion that the Bush administration is more frequently at odds with, rather than in partnership with, foreign governments, groups & individuals.

4) Policies that have alienated the U.S. from the international community have an effect on the psyche of the nation which is similar to what would be found even at the level of an individual (Imagine what life would be like if you consistently ostracized & physically harmed your friends, family & neighbors?).

The Result:

- Lowest Presidential approval ratings in many decades…(the light of TRUTH begins to glow brighter)

- And eventually (hopefully), changes that will reflect this shift in sentiment. By “this shift,” I mean the recognition of the deeper truth that is reflected in all human beings…”Love thy Neighbor” (for all you bible folk).

The consciousness that we have all been blessed with is something that we must treasure & cultivate. There are many distraction in the daily grind of life, but the defense mechanisms that we have built up to protect us, have actually just kept us ‘blinded.’ Although, these forces are only so strong and overwhelming evidence is sometimes just what we need to clean our lense. My hope is that through a concerted effort and a growing tide of this recognition, that humanity will give birth to a revolution; not one of arms, but one of spirit. Our time on this earth is much too short and our wallets much too thin to be wasted on the trivial pursuits of fabricated wars (i.e. On drugs, terror, poverty, et. al.). These ills that affect our society will not be fixed through a show of physical force. They must be addressed at a deeper level. At an undeniable level; the level of spirit. Only through educating, I mean literally educating, our consciousness will we achieve such an existance.

As we come ever closer to reaching this higher level, the ills of our society will diminish correspondingly and we will then be empowered to focus the efforts of our short existance on experiencing all of the joy & happiness which life has to offer.